A recent Which? consumer survey revealed a startling statistic: one in eight people would rather go to the dentist than spend an hour planning their retirement. It’s a finding that’s both amusing and alarming in equal measure. But as a retirement coach, I see this reluctance as symptomatic of a much deeper issue; we’ve reduced retirement planning to a purely financial exercise, when it should be so much more.
The financial focus problem
The Which? research highlights familiar concerns: 40% of people find retirement planning too stressful, nearly half are confused by financial jargon, and many simply don’t know how much they’ll need to retire comfortably. The article then does what most retirement planning advice does as it focuses exclusively on pension pots, state pension forecasts, and annuity calculations.
Don’t get me wrong, the financial side matters enormously. Knowing you need a pension pot of around £364,100 as a couple for a moderate retirement lifestyle is useful information. But here’s what that figure doesn’t tell you: what will you actually do with those 168 hours every week for the next 30+ years of retirement?
How will you find meaning and purpose when your professional identity disappears?
Who will you spend time with when work colleagues are no longer part of your daily life?
The holiday comparison that tells a bigger story
You’ve probably heard the phrase: people spend more time planning a two-week holiday than their entire retirement. It’s true, and it reveals something profound about how we approach this life transition.
When we plan a holiday, we don’t just look at the budget. We imagine ourselves on that beach, in that museum, tasting that local cuisine. We think about who we’ll travel with, what we’ll see, and what memories we’ll create. We research the culture, learn a few phrases, and prepare ourselves mentally for the experience. Yet when it comes to retirement, a phase that could last 20, 30, or even 40 years we focus almost exclusively on whether we can afford it. We treat it like a financial destination rather than a life transition.
Start with Life, then do the maths
When clients ask me “How much do I need to retire?”, my answer is always the same: it depends on the life you wish to live.
This flips conventional retirement planning on its head. Most people start with their pension pot, work out what income it will generate, and then try to design a life around that number. But this approach often leads to a retirement that feels constrained, compromised, or simply uninspiring.
Instead, start by designing your ideal retirement life:
- What does a fulfilling week look like? Map out those 168 hours.
- Where do you want to live? Does your current home support your retirement vision?
- What experiences do you want to have? Travel, learning, creative pursuits?
- How do you want to contribute? This might include part-time work, volunteering, or mentoring.
- What relationships do you want to prioritise and nurture?
Notice that last point – your ideal retirement might include some form of work. This isn’t a failure to retire “properly.” For many people, continued work (perhaps reduced hours, consulting, or a complete career change) provides structure, purpose, and social connection alongside income. There’s no rule that says retirement must mean complete withdrawal from paid work.
Once you’ve designed this life, then you work out what it costs and ensure the numbers support it. If there’s a gap between your vision and your finances, you have clear choices: adjust the vision, increase your savings, plan to work longer or part-time, or find creative ways to achieve your goals for less.
The point is this: the numbers should support the right life for you, not dictate a life that fits the numbers.
What the numbers can’t measure
I work with many clients who have more than enough money to retire comfortably. They’ve done everything the financial advisers recommended. They have healthy pension pots, no mortgage, and a solid investment portfolio. And yet, when they actually retire, many struggle profoundly.
Why? Because financial security doesn’t automatically translate into:
A sense of purpose. For decades, work provided structure, goals, and a sense of contribution. Retirement removes that framework overnight. What will give you a reason to get up in the morning?
Social connection. Work colleagues, even difficult ones, provide daily human interaction and social identity. Retirement can be surprisingly isolating, especially if your partner is still working or your friends haven’t retired yet.
Identity and self-worth. “What do you do?” is often the second question we’re asked when meeting someone. When the answer changes from “I’m a teacher/engineer/manager” to “I’m retired,” many people feel a loss of identity and relevance.
Mental and physical health. The transition from full-time work to complete leisure can be jarring. Without the natural structure work provides, health routines can deteriorate. The mental stimulation of workplace challenges disappears, potentially affecting cognitive health.
Relationship adjustment. Couples who’ve spent decades with separate work lives suddenly find themselves together 24/7. This requires adjustment and, often, renegotiation of household roles and personal space.
The question you should be asking
Yes, check your pension pot and fill those National Insurance gaps. The Which? article is right about that. But also ask yourself:
- What activities make me lose track of time? How can I build more of those into my retirement?
- What relationships do I want to deepen? Which friendships have I neglected during my working years?
- What have I always wanted to learn but never had time for?
- How will my partner and I navigate being together full-time? Have we discussed expectations?
- What gives me a sense of contribution and purpose? How can I maintain that without paid work?
- Where do I want to live? Does my current home suit a retirement lifestyle?
- How will I stay physically active and mentally engaged?
- What does a typical Tuesday look like in my ideal retirement? Can I describe it in detail?
A holistic approach to Retirement planning
The Which? survey found that 66% of people would rather do other tasks, even unpleasant ones, than plan their retirement. I believe this avoidance isn’t just about financial complexity or confusing jargon. It’s because, deep down, people sense that retirement planning should involve difficult questions about identity, purpose, and what makes life meaningful, and those questions are genuinely challenging.
Financial planning is the foundation, absolutely. But retirement planning should also include:
Lifestyle design: What does your ideal week look like? How will you balance structure and flexibility?
Relationship planning: Honest conversations with partners, family, and friends about expectations and boundaries.
Purpose exploration: Identifying what will give your life meaning, whether through volunteering, mentoring, creative pursuits, or continued learning.
Social planning: Actively building and maintaining social connections that will sustain you beyond workplace relationships.
Health planning: Creating routines for physical activity, mental stimulation, and overall wellbeing that aren’t dependent on work structures.
Phased transition: Consider whether a gradual retirement like reducing hours, taking on different roles, or pursuing portfolio careers might ease the transition.
Start your Retirement planning conversation now
The Which? research found that 40% of those already retired wished they’d started planning earlier. I’d add that many wish they’d planned more broadly, not just more financially.
If you’re five or more years from retirement, start experimenting now. Try extended holidays to see how you cope with unstructured time. Develop hobbies and interests outside of work. Invest in friendships that aren’t work-related. Volunteer to test whether it provides the satisfaction you imagine.
If retirement is closer, start having honest conversations with yourself, your partner, and trusted friends about what this transition really means for you.
The bottom line
Yes, the financial foundation is crucial. No one wants to outlive their money or compromise their standard of living due to poor planning. But retirement is about so much more than whether you can afford it. It’s about designing a life that’s fulfilling, connected, and purposeful.
The Which? survey tells us that retirement planning feels stressful and confusing. Perhaps that’s because we’ve made it too narrow. When we expand our view to include purpose, relationships, health, and identity alongside finances, retirement planning becomes less about spreadsheets and more about life design, and that’s a conversation worth having, even if it feels more daunting than a trip to the dentist.
Are you approaching retirement and feeling overwhelmed by more than just the financial questions? As a retirement coach, I help people navigate the full spectrum of retirement planning, from purpose and identity to relationships and lifestyle design.
After all, you’re not just planning how to fund your retirement. You’re planning how to live it.
Get in touch to start planning not just for a financially secure retirement, but for a truly fulfilling one.
source: which.co.uk/news
